Friday, May 28, 2010

Self-Control ... or lack thereof

I read somewhere that it's physically impossible to get a grip on your weight and your finances simultaneously; the human psyche just doesn't have that much self-restraint. Although it's obviously possible to blow both your budget and your diet simultaneously. Life is so unfair.

Last Wednesday was Cathy's best friend's birthday party. I hung out with the parents, talking endlessly. As a stay-at-home mother of two, I long ago developed the habit of talking to other adults I happen upon for as long as they are willing to talk to me. Unfortunately, all of this talking took place in front of a luscious-looking chocolate cake.

Now normally my self-restraint is actually admirable. While my weight isn't where I'd like it to be (whose is?) and I definitely overindulge at times, here is a list of what, for one reason or another, I usually don't eat:

dairy (not counting eggs)

I also minimize sugar, drink neither soda nor alcohol or even coffee, and, oh yeah, I have this acid reflux thing going, so I also can't really eat garlic, onions, Mexican food, tomato products, or even jam. Very sad.

Long story short, I sat in front of the cake too long. Two pieces later (gluten! dairy! chocolate! sugar!), I made my way back home and continued my downward spiral. I am the food equivalent of an alcoholic. Once I step off that wagon, everything goes and I just eat and eat and eat all the things I normally don't eat (except for meat; I'm a staunch vegetarian; well, and garlic—it's just too painful) until my body screams “STOP!”

I gained 6 and ½ pounds in 8 days.

Even my face looks fat. My knees are complaining and the bottoms of my feet hurt from the pressure of the extra weight.

Seriously. The last time I gained 6 or 7 pounds rapidly, my hips started hurting so badly that I went to see the doctor. He said I had developed an overuse injury. You know, like athletes get. Only I got mine by dragging the extra weight up and down the stairs of my house... Did you know that for every extra pound of lard, the pressure on your joints increases by four pounds?

And all of this after having been “good” for all of 2010 so far. Sigh. I am looking back longingly to the day (nine days ago!) when my biggest dietary vice was an occasional indulgence in gluten-free animal crackers.

I have got to climb back on that wagon. If I can haul myself back up.

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