Sunday, May 30, 2010

More Ideas

Actually, writing a blog is part of my grand financial scheme, just not in relation to advertising. I signed up for “monetize this blog” but it's kind of funny. They won't even tell you how much you get paid, just that it's based on (1) per thousand views and (2) people actually clicking through the ads AND actually buying something. Number (2) seems quite unlikely and since (1) is probably pennies per thousand, I'll probably be 94 before I hit that first $100 (at which point they actually notify you that you got there).

No, my plan is much more nefarious!

I write this blog, see, and I catch the attention of an agent or editor or publisher out there. And they decide to turn my blog into a book. And then they decide to turn the book into a movie (at which point they can embellish in any way they like because my life is truly much too boring to warrant a movie adaptation).

Sounds far-fetched, I know. But hey! It worked for that Julie and Julia woman. Seriously, who would have thought??

In the meantime, as long as I have the attention of a publisher, I can then pitch them my real book, a fabulous novel which languishes on the floor in the corner of my bedroom, because apparently writing is the easy part... just try getting someone to actually look at what you've written!

Then they'll see how great my book is, offer me a book deal, and all my financial worries will be over. To be replaced by all new worries...

While I wait for my future to arrive, I've decided to start working on yet another book. Recently I read The Giver, The Hunger Games, City of Ember, and Uglies, all books of speculative fiction. (I just learned that phrase. “Speculative fiction.” Of course, the ultimate example of that is probably the amazing The Road.)

All of these books are targeted at the young adult market. They are all good. And I suddenly realized that they all followed a set formula. I actually sat down and charted it out. Dysfunctional society. An isolated post-apocalyptic community. Powerless or evil adults. A teen hero or, more likely, heroine. A younger child who must be saved. A social order which must be overthrown. A trilogy to do it in.

And I thought, I can do that!

So I actually sat down and started creating my own formulaic dysfunctional world. No, not the one I already occupy. Ha ha. A fictional one. And what I came up with is actually quite good, if I do say so myself. So now my goal is to write the book this summer.

I am informed by the children's book agent who lives up the street (Cathy's best friend's father, so the poor man actually has to listen to me whenever I come up with a new idea!) that young adult is the only category that's actually selling right now, given the economy.

And you thought I had no ideas for how to pay off that credit card debt...

Okay, I've got one more I've been kicking around for a while now. I wait until the kids are out of the house, then I live in my car for a couple of years until I'm debt-free. That'd work.

I think I'd rather write the book, though...

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